if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
