Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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