i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
