I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I want a musical about memes.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
