my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I love you.
Bad choice
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