She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
