i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
