god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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