i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
