I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
