well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Is Oprah even human
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
