girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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