Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
