just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize