I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
