i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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