So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize