Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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