Yo dont text me then not text me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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