she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
