I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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