We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
