He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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