I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
