I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
