420 ftw
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
