I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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