this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
