Ambien. No doubt about it.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
