sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
