why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
