I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
