I puked a lego.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
