Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
