it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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