after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
being pregnant is like rehab
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
