Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
