That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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