I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
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so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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