I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
