My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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