Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
