The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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