brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
