Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
