My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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