I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
