dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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