Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
