I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
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Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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