glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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