i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
