Sry I called you an 8
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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