my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
