What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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