no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
