I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
