Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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