I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
