Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
