Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
