What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
