Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
